On Our Own Terms
by Adorkably Adorkable
Summary: People should be able to make decisions on their own terms. For Lily possibly being pregnant should be a decision that she could make on her own terms.


AN: You guys all know. Enjoy ;)

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Lily sits in the bed looking at the plan b potion that she had just bought. How could this happen. Well of course she remembered how it happened. Lily had lost her birth control potion at the beginning of the last mission she went on for the Order. She was supposed to take the potion once a week but that was a week ago. She had been so busy with the mission that she never had a chance to make more. What also did not help was that as soon as she got home to James they got a little distracted.

They had only been dating for a year and it had only been four months since they had graduated from school. They were not even engaged. However Lily knew that they both were not ready for this. They had even talked about this the other day when she got back.

**Flashback**

"_I'm so glad that you're home." James said as both of them laid wrapped up in each other's arms covered only by a sheet. _

"_Mm me too." Lily said snuggling into James' embrace._

"_How was the mission?"_

"_Good. As well as can be expected. How was your mission?"_

"_Ok we found the kid now we are just waiting for the parents to arrive. __McKinnon__ is supposed to owl me when they get here." Just then an owl flow into their bed room and landed on his nightstand._

"_And they are here. I hope that they brought his medications." James said as e read the note._

"_What you mean?"_

"_This kid he is about seven years old. He was born with a bad heart and he has been in and out of hospital his whole life. He needs special medications everyday to keep him healthy. Since he was kidnapped he was not able to take them and he has gotten worse."_

"_Aw poor little guy."_

"_Yea and get this, Lil. His parents are our age. His dad I should be asking him to play _Quidditch _or going out for a drink instead of this." James sighed. "I'm sorry I got to go." James bent down to kiss her good bye._

"_You would not be you if you did" Lily said kissing him back_

"_You know there is no other place I rather be then in this bed with you." James said driving back into her arms._

"_I know. You know that is what I love about you .The fact that you can always sees things from others point of view. I think that is what is going to make you a great father one day."_

"_Humm" James smiled, "Thanks and yes one day. I have a few things to take care of first." _

"_Yea?"_

"_Yea this war for one thing. Climb Mount __Everest__. Maybe even grow up a little."_

"_You do not think that you're grown up?"_

"_No I'm grown up. But not as grown up as I would want to be in order to be the daddy that I want to be. I would want to be the kind of father that sticks around. The kind that gives a damn about their kid's day to day life." _

"_Yea you have a point."_

"_That is going to be the biggest commitment of my life. It really is. _

"_I never thought about it like that."_

"_Yea well I got to go. I love you"_

"_Love you too"_

**End of Flashback**

James had made it perfectly clear that he was not ready for baby and Lily know that she was not either. Lily had decided to take a potion to determine the possibility of her being pregnant. The potion acted similarly like the muggles's plan B pill. Once Lily had token the potion would stop any further chances of getting pregnant. But if she was pregnant the potion would not hurt the baby forming within her.

Lily sat on the bed that James and her shared and took the potion out of its box. She could not believe that this potion was going to help in deciding her and James future. According to the direction on the potion was going to make Lily sleepy for an hour as it takes its effect. Lucky for Lily, James had just left for a two hour meeting with the order.

"Well here goes nothing" Lily gulped down the potion instantly feeling it relaxed. Placing the jar back in the box and on to her nightstand, Lily drifted off to sleep.

About an hour later Lily began to wake up from the potion. But before she could get up to throw away the box she felt herself bounce on the bed.

"Hi" James said as he jumped on the bed.

"Oh hi" Lily said shocked looking at the clock she saw that he was home an hour early.

"Guess what the meeting finished early, so I went and picked us up some dinner. Let's go and eat at the kitchen table like normal people."

"I did not expect you home so soon." Lily said still sounding shocked.

"Oh I'm sorry did I scare you," James said wrapping his arms around her and leaning over to kiss her. As James pulled back from Lily something caught his eye. Lily looked over and saw that the box that held the potion was still out.

"What is this" James said picking up the box.

"That is – that that" stammered Lily.

"That was a rhetorical question Lily. I know what this is. I took sexual health with you remember. What I meant was why is this here?"

"I had stopped" Lily whispered said. She could not even get anymore words out Lily stared at him

"Sorry you did what?

"I stop taking my birth control potions."

"You stopped. You mean that you did not FORGET! Without telling me!" James shouted clearly shock and panic was written all over his face.

"Look I know that it was wrong but"

"What? But - but what Lily? You said that you stopped."

"I- I" Lily stammered, "It was not a decision. I mean-"

"You said that you stopped"

"No, no, no," Lily said trying to claim James down. "That was just a word that I had used and obviously not the best choice. Look you scared just me now. You came home early you surprise me that's all." Lily said taking the box from him and throwing it back on the nightstand.

"You mean that you were not going to tell me. You didn't want me to know." James was getting more upset.

"No I had lost my birth control on the last mission and I did not want you to think that I was irresponsible. But when you stated talking about being a father and how important it was to you, I wanted to make sure that. You know that I was not. Just in case."

"Wait. You think that you are pregnant?"

"I don't know." Lily whispered

James got up from the bed and walked over to the chair in their room, running his hands thought his hair.

"I don't know. I mean that I could be pregnant? I don't know for sure."

James sighed into is hands.

"Look James I already feel like a fool alright. Plus now you are upset with me. Just say something, please."

"I'm at a lose Lily ok." James said finally looking at her.

"I know you are and I do not blame you. I know that this is a big deal. Don't think for a second that I am being careless about something so impor-"

"Think that it is a little careless for you to skip taking your birth control and still sleep with-"

"I - I thought that I could miss one of my potions and it would not matter. I am doing all that I can to fix the situation. Ok if I am not pregnant then I will find out. And if I am pregnant then the potion will not harm-"

"The baby, Lily. It will not harm our baby. "James finished for her.

Lily's eyes began to water up. The realization that she could really have a baby growing inside her final hit home. James and her really could have created something that would be a part of their lives forever. Before she could stop them tear began falling down

"I'm sorry" whispered Lily. James could tell that she was on the verge of crying.

"No I am sorry." James said taking a breath. James got back up and sat with Lily on the bed

"You are?"

"Yea" James said as he took a hold of her hand. "You hit me by surprise that is all. You do not need any flack right know."

"James when you talked about being a dad-" Lily could not get the rest out. She took a deep breath to trying to get control of her emotion. "What - what I mean is if I am pregnant then it is all on me. You did not do anything wrong. I –"

"No obviously we are in this together" James interrupted

"No you trusted me and I let you down. You are right I should have told you or warned you that I had stopped taking my birth control. I was supposed to be the responsible one. The one that-" Lily started getting chocked up again.

"Let's not talk about blame here. Let's just wait and see what happens all right." James brought his hands up to Lily's face cupping her face and starring into her eyes. "Like I said we are in this together."

"You really mean that" she said

"Of course I mean that I would not have it any other way. Everything will be ok."

Lily simply smiled and snuggled into James embrace.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

The following morning James woke up alone in bed. He looked around for Lily or a note. When he could find a note he decided to get up and get dress. Just as he grabbed his pants from the floor the bedroom doors and in walks Lily.

"And where are you going?"

"To find you." James said settling back into bed.

"Well I'm right here" Lily said as she get back into bed with James.

"Well good morning, Love"

"Today is not a good morning."

"Its not?"

"Today is a great morning"

"Why is that?"

"Today is the day that I found out that I was not pregnant"

James sighed with relief and fell back against the pillow. Hearing Lily laugh he looked up at her. She had a huge smile on her face. Her shining eyes reflecting how relieved she was too. James quickly engulfed Lily into passionate kiss.

"Then it makes it's a great morning does not it." James said settling against Lily's chest.

"Yea" Lily said as she ran her hand through James' hair. "Yes it does."

"You know that I would take care of you and the baby if you were. And we are really Lily we will bring a baby into this world. On our own terms."

"I know James. Whenever we're really."

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Please review and tell me what you think.

:)


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